How do you handle health questions?

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How do you handle health questions?

Post by BoltAction308 on Fri 25 Jan 2013, 19:24

Since I asked for it, I figure I can inaugurate this new section with a new post and topic. Very Happy

Again, I know I'm not alone in this so I figured I'd ask how you all handle the inevitable question that comes up when speaking to new and old friends alike. What i dread is when someone will ask me what is wrong with me as I look "normal" or don't appear to be sick. Rolling Eyes The worse is when they go on to say "I wish I was on a disability and be able to all the fun things every day.' Or, "It must be nice not to work and be paid for it."

True these comments aren't exactly from friends per se, but they are comments I'm sure we've all heard.

I hang out with a buddy who's on a disability from a civilian job and we talk about how it rots us when people think we live a good life. If only they knew the half of it.

I lost it on one mouthy acquaintance one day and I was pretty happy in the way I handled it afterwards. Someone had said something along the lines of "So what are my taxes paying for you to do today?" With that I replied something along the lines of "Well while my taxes were paying for your welfare cheques, I was out in the Middle East serving my country."

How do you handle ignorant comments or questions?



Last edited by BoltAction308 on Fri 25 Jan 2013, 19:30; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Corrections as usual :))
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Re: How do you handle health questions?

Post by Guest on Fri 25 Jan 2013, 19:30

yaaa i just say nothing and punch them in the mouth.

propat

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Re: How do you handle health questions?

Post by Sapper Zodiak on Fri 25 Jan 2013, 19:32

Bolt...this is a great question. I am afraid I cannot answer it, as my wife usually answers for me. I just never know what to say, and people always think you are screwing the pooch and taking advantage of the system. I pulled into a disabled parking spot( i have a permit). These two elderly persons in the next vehicle gave me the hairy eyeball and berated me for parking there. I got out of my vehicle, with much difficulty, and just smiled at them as I hobbled into safeway. I didn't know what to say. Maybe someone out there has the answer.
Chimo

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Re: How do you handle health questions?

Post by Sapper Zodiak on Fri 25 Jan 2013, 19:35

Hey propat...can I rent you for a couple days? Both my arms don't work well either, but I like your style. Being broken down makes it hard to stand up for yourself.

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Re: How do you handle health questions?

Post by Guest on Fri 25 Jan 2013, 19:38

lol ya i dont really go out in public much.

propat

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Re: How do you handle health questions?

Post by Guest on Fri 25 Jan 2013, 19:51

Well next time you see old ladies giving you the once over remember what I am about to tell you. True story and it has happened on a couple of occassions. I am parking into the disabled spot with my placard in the window. I look over and two very old ladies pull into the parking spot beside the disabled spots marked for pregnant mothers or mothers with babies. So out comes the two old ladies clearly not pregnant or with child. So I chuckle to myself and remember that when people give me looks and stares....
Bug Out

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Re: How do you handle health questions?

Post by bigrex on Fri 25 Jan 2013, 20:15

Sapper, I here you. Here in Halifax, it seems they hand out permits for having grey hair. I've been eye ball far too many times for parking in the disabled spot, even when I hobble away with a cane in each hand, yet I've seen some 60 year old guys get out of their cars and jog across to the door. That is a pet peeve of mine. that and stores that have seniors parking and new mother parking closer than the disabled parking, and since there is no permit required to park there and nobody monitoring their use, I find I'm having to walk farther than some extremely lazy people. I like the disabled parking signs that read "Laziness is not a disability, so move!"
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Re: How do you handle health questions?

Post by Rags on Sat 26 Jan 2013, 17:29

You need to correct him right away id say and have said this - Your Tax dollars dont pay me a thing. My monthly pay deductions and military pay package paid the insurance premiums from my pay each month. The Disability premiums were paid by me from pay package and my monthly payout now comes from the insurance built up in the private fund it is not funded by your tax dollars. My comment on DVA would be that money is a gift of Canada for pain and suffering for being injured in service to my country it is not a pension.
Dont avoid it be proud you paid your LTD premiums and your employer paid the balance as part of pay package so no tax dollars.
As for your military medical pension thats simply its your payed premiums and its reduced due to medical, your employer covered a portion of the premiums as part of pay package so technically his tax dollars are not paying you a cent the queen is cause you work for the Queen not the government they just manage the payments.


Last edited by Rags on Sat 26 Jan 2013, 17:33; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : last line I forgot)

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Re: How do you handle health questions?

Post by Guest on Sat 26 Jan 2013, 17:44

What matters is that you know the truth. Their opinions or assumptions say more about them then it does about you.







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Re: How do you handle health questions?

Post by RobbieRoyal on Tue 05 Mar 2013, 11:39

True story here Bolt, I was in the exact same situation as you and my adversary posed his question like it was an open forum and he did so in front of fellow soldiers and NCO's. He said. "Robbie why did you get out again, and where did you get that truck", laughing in a group of around 7 NCO's you know when you want to be heard. I calmly responded, "Oh yeah she is fully loaded, very pretty, look at the rack, sweet ride just like your ole lady, and you thought I was nuts eh"
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Re: How do you handle health questions?

Post by Guest on Tue 05 Mar 2013, 18:05

boys im angry every day thats ok i just need some sleep.just went back to the osi today for the first time in years.i stoped before becouse they kept friggin with my meds and every time i left their i was more angry and upset than i was all week.once i was so pissed while driving home going through oromocto i seen a half brained prick sgt stopped the truck with all the traffick got out and beat the living shit out of him without so much as a how do ya do.thats when i knew it was time to stop with them.today i got a bunch of forms to fill out two other appointments plus i got to go for bloodwork a cat scan a sleep apnia test and some other frigin thing i dont remember and never hered of before.nothing for sleep now i just want to choke the friggin sheeet out of someone.this is all just fracked i just want to frackin sleep thats all.

propat

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Re: How do you handle health questions?

Post by Nomad on Sun 14 Apr 2013, 11:45

Greetings fellow vets. I've been following csat for a few month's now and yes, because of my issues, I generally suffer in silence. I just noticed this post and was compelled to share a little bit, however I must remain anonymous to protect others within my ever shrinking circle of family and friends.

I am a base brat, and a 22 year veteran. My dad was 34 years army. He joined in 1957 and reached the dizzying heights of RSM before taking his commission, eventually retiring in 1991 after a long and distinguished career. I have to say that my father and I never really saw eye to eye much until I myself joined up in 1981. Even then, my dad was all about "my dad", and my military career took second stage to his. We never talked about me or what I do, or what I've done, so he really didn't have a schmick. Don't really think he really cared much anyway. There have not been many people I've met in my 52 years whom I know to be more arrogant than my dad. Yes he has friends, his golf buddies (all retired Sergeant Major or above) who come a very close second. What can I say, "Birds of a feather, flock together"!?

My fall from grace has been long and difficult. I can't seem to escape the guilt and shame that I am overcome with when I am standing face to face with my dad. I believe he views me as an embarrassment. For starters, he can't wrap his head around the fact that my pension I paid into for 22 years combined with my veterans disability benefits are more than his 34 year pension. It bothers the hell out of him. Anyway, I know that he has sat around with his "golf buddies", having a laugh, discussing my PTSD over a beer or 12. I was visiting my parents one weekend, a couple years after my medical release in 2003. I was helping my dad with his fence when 4 of his "golf buddies" dropped by for a beer. Not wanting to appear anti-social, I joined them. I had a couple of beer with them while they talked about themselves when out of the blue, one of his "golf buddies" says to me...hey Mike, how do I get me a veterans pension? I was floored. It was at this moment that I knew that my situation had become public knowledge. I can't tell you the humiliation I felt at that moment. Not only did I have to endure the wrath of my superiors as they shuttled me out of the door and out of a career, I had to suffer at the hands of my own family.

Now, when he asked me that, what I WANTED to say was, hey...between The Gulf War, my "holiday" in Rwanda and my two vacations to Bosnia, I had my fair share of fun. Now as I mentioned earlier in my story, I'm a base brat and due to my dads career, I grew up on the front lines of the Cold War. S.H.A.P.E, Belgium (NATO HQ) multiple postings in Lahr/Schwarzwald, and I am fully aware of how my dad and his "golf buddies" endured those deployments. The most action they seen in their careers was the annual "REFORGER", or perhaps the odd bar fight during happy hour at the local Bierstube or Gasthaus. And I know for a fact that Veterans Affairs won't grant a disability pension for an injury sustained falling down the the 2 steps at the Top Graders Club in SHAPE, while under the influence. Ya, that's what I wanted to say, but I didn't. I just put down my beer, stood up, walked up to my dad and said, "not from flying a desk", and walked out the door. ( know, I know, lot's of sarcasm, my apologies)

Since that time, my PTSD has been discussed among everyone I know, and then some. Once it was posted on the internet, well who knows how many people know!? My 3 brothers don't understand and most of my friends have stopped calling. I have spent the last 10 years of my life in almost complete isolation, living in my van, reluctantly accepting charity, room and board in exchange for labor. I can honestly say that were it not for my 2 children (who live with their mother) whom I love dearly, I would have checked out many years ago. It was only when I recently tried to get a CFPAF loan, that VAC had me on their radar and all of a sudden, I'm getting benefits I never knew existed. Shortly after that, I learned of the Class Action of which, apparently, I am a part of. I am back in rehab, seeing a councillor every week. I now have an apartment whereby my children can come to visit, and aside from my issues with my dad, life is getting better. For the first time in 10 years, I can give my ex more money for our kids.

Thanks for listening Smile

Michael

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Re: How do you handle health questions?

Post by Guest on Sun 14 Apr 2013, 12:03

Thank you for sharing your private pain and experiences with us all Michael ~ I believe in sharing your struggles you in turn help others in theirs ~ Stay strong fine soldier.
Sparrow

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Re: How do you handle health questions?

Post by meathead on Sun 14 Apr 2013, 16:11

Michael You are not alone brother. I have found myself telling people that they would not be asking about my PTSD and struggles if I was in a wheelchair and then I get really pissed off and tell them to Google it. Sometimes invisible wounds are the hardest to deal with.
Tom

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Re: How do you handle health questions?

Post by pteadams2002 on Sun 14 Apr 2013, 16:20

Micheal. Thank you for sharing your story. Sadly it's all too familiar. This Class Action is helping to expose Veterans disablilites from the inside out.
You are not alone, ever.
Sherry
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