love him but....

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love him but....

Post by mikswife on Sat 29 Aug 2015, 13:41

I could punch him right now lol. Jk. Moving weekend. He is incapacitated physically and mentally. I didn't take away the bank card in time and he's shopping for survival gear online. 😒 the move is happening but barely. And I'm doing it alone pretty much. It's overwhelming. I work a lot. We asked dva for moving help and we were told there is none available. Dva. I really really dont like u right now. I am looking after him the best I can. But I'm exhausted. I left him once and I wont again. But I need help. We are covered for counseling but only couples. Not for myself. When will dva start helping spouses? God I hope this election makes a difference. Sorry for the rant. But I have nobody. Nobody to call when I need to vent or cry. Or get mad. I can't upset him. His health depends on it. But I feel close to exploding. So to dva. Glad u all sleep knowing the families in crisis receive no help. When I get past all of this...im coming for u. I've already started my research. And i will rally other families like mine. And we will demand you pay attention. The media will listen of u don't. I feel a little better getting it off my chest. But I'm still choking tears back.

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Re: love him but....

Post by James. on Sat 29 Aug 2015, 14:07

Sending you strength ~

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Re: love him but....

Post by mikswife on Sat 29 Aug 2015, 14:09

Thanks James!

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Re: love him but....

Post by pinger on Sat 29 Aug 2015, 15:42

What about csat folks in your neck of the woods if you are open to that and if they are physically capable? Just a shot in the dark outside the box to you.

Had to move just myself months ago. Was reminded of sop legit DND moving expenses, and then questionable GoC DND ones. $70,000 to move some?

I'm disabled and couldn't do it. But at least it only cost me $1,000 in the teeth for across town
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Re: love him but....

Post by mikswife on Sat 29 Aug 2015, 16:11

Thanks pinger. I'm not sure if I have csat'd close to me. I'm on van isle. 😊 I picked up keys today so I can start with the little stuff. We will make it work. I was more upset about his 3 am survival gear shop lol. But it was suggested to me to try and support him in that. If there's ever am earthquake we are soooo prepared.

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Re: love him but....

Post by johnny211 on Sat 29 Aug 2015, 16:25

mikswife - Hi from the other side of Canada. Not sure out there , but we have an awesome OSSIS gp out here. Its a shot , but this Family support # may help, and even the OSSIS coord in your area. If you explain your sit, which I am well aware of because I also stock supplies for a nuc war,,lol. But they may be able to send some folks,,Vets over to lend a hand, and wife support. I know what he goes thru, as alot of us on here do. We just ask for support because alot of our days suck. I hope in a little way this helps..VVV...

FAMILY SUPPORT

Vancouver Island, Greater Vancouver and the lower mainland and the Fraser Valley to Hope
Kristen.Singleton@osiss.ca 250-363-3313


Western Region

PEER SUPPORT

Lower Vancouver Island up to Nanaimo, Greater Vancouver and Lower Mainland, Fraser Valley to Hope and Whitehorse
Phil.Quesnelle@osiss.ca 250-363-3057

Northern half of Vancouver Island down to Nanaimo, Interior of BC, Calgary region and southern Alberta Zack.Donovan@osiss.ca 250-339-8211
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Re: love him but....

Post by mikswife on Sat 29 Aug 2015, 16:31

Thank u johnny! That is a wealth of information! Thank u so much! I need to reach out more locally.

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Re: love him but....

Post by Trooper on Sun 30 Aug 2015, 17:24

Mikswife , I understand your frustration , it's hard doing it all on your own , DVA does not move Veterans , but there is now funds given to spouses for looking after Veterans who can no longer look after themselves , don't know if you knew this or not , if not , you could look into it as every little bit help's.

Stay strong , an I hope things get better for you an your husband.
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Re: love him but....

Post by mikswife on Sun 30 Aug 2015, 21:25

Thank u trooper. I think the money is only available if I have to quit my job? Which I cannot do. Not yet. Though I'm debating cutting my hours.

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Re: love him but....

Post by teentitan on Sun 30 Aug 2015, 22:16

You don't have to quit your job. If you help him with day to day living, bathing, dressing, administration of meds, etc you can get Attendance Allowance under the PA or if you are under the NVC the Family Caregiver Benefit.

Call your husbands CM and explain what you do daily for your husband and the CM will direct you on application.
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